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When and Why to Travel Back to China
Nothing can be more effective than returning to your children's motherlands when it comes to strengthening their ethnic regards. If budget allows, more than one visit would be ideal. Accordingto Clinical Child Psychologist Dr. Rebecca Nelson, the first trip can be conducted when the child is four or five years old. The main purpose of the trip is to gain a basic idea of the birth country and its culture.
If your family only can plan for one visit,consider returning to the birth country while your child is between eight to ten years of age. "By this age, children have greater ability to think about themselves and others in a more dynamic and complex way, and tend to havea keen interest in understanding how they came to be adopted." as mentioned on Dr. Nelson's research article titled "Timing Birth CountryVisits". At this stage, your child still needs much of your guidance and support when dealing with the mixed emotions while the exploration is in progress.
Preferably do not wait until your childrenreached their teens to visit their birth countries, as they may feel morereluctant to explore new things and absorb knowledge of cultures that are foreign to them, because of their "immersion in their existing social world and an increased sense of self-consciousness," based on Dr. Nelson'sresearch. Ideally, multiple visits across thelifespan provide a wonderful way for a family to stay connected to a child's birth heritage. If more than one visit is doable, the first trip can be taken when the child is relatively young (4 or 5), assuming she was adopted approximately before the age of 2 and familial attachment is secure. Before theage of 6 or 7, a child is too young to have the capacity to understand the differences and similarities between biological and adoptive relationships. So, parents might want to think of this trip as providing a comfortable initial exploration of a birth culture. This birth culture will probably be ratherforeign to your child, despite it being her place of birth. Having this trip berewarding from a child's perspective is important. It will create a lasting impression and influence whether your child wants to return when she is older,when questions about adoption and her origins will surface. This early trip canbe made fun for a child by engaging in activities that celebrate her ethnic heritage and that are especially appealing for her. For instance if your childreally enjoys Chinese food, make this a point of emphasis through adventurousdining (e.g., trying a variety of eateries) and conversation. If your child likes Chinese dresses, a dress or two bought from places of meaning, such as aspecific region, to facilitate positive associations. Also, providing your child with her own camera will likely give her a sense of empowerment as she will gain a positive sense of control with tangible pictures of what appeals toher individually about her country of birth. Allowing your child to create herown photo album in addition to yours will provide further support of her individual experience and facilitate positive memories. Again, the goal of this early visit is to make it a rewarding and enjoyable experience that willprovide a foundation for future, more meaningful visits.
If only one birth country visit can be planned, the ages between 8 to 10 is most appropriate with the specific agedependent upon your child's emotional maturity. By this age, children have greater ability to thinking about themselves and others in a more dynamic andcomplex way, and tend to have a keen interest in understanding how they came to be adopted. Questions about birthfamily, country of origin, and other adoptionrelated matters are likely to make themselves apparent with greater frequency and degree of intensity than before. Children aged 8 to 10 are still dependent upon their parents to assist them in sorting out experiences, relationships andideas. This makes a birthcountry visit a prime opportunity to learn about themselves and further a positive adoptive identity within a guided andemotionally supportive context.
For children 8 to 10 plan similaractivities as already described, but also recognize your child will havethoughts and feelings about their adoption and birthcountry that may be dissimilar to yours. These differences can be sensitively addressed by actively involve your child in the planning phases and itinerary, such as places and people they would or would not want to see. Because this can be anemotion-filled trip for you and your child, make sure to plan some relaxingdown time.
Free time is a good way for everyone to reorganize and reenergize.Bringing one or two emotional comfort objects from home is also recommended. This might be a favored blanket or stuffed animal that your child can snuggle with when feeling tired or stressed.
Generally, pre/adolescents can be reluctantto visit their birthcountry due to immersion in their existing social world andan increased sense of self-consciousness.
Many transracial adoptees feelconspicuous in their families. Visiting a country where their families will stand out even more is not likely to be appealing during this stage of heightened self-consciousness. However, if a pre/adolescent shows interest invisiting her birth country, then it can be a rewarding experience if planned tofit the pre/adolescent's individual interests and temperament.
Why Lead to China
When and Why to Travel Back to China
Nothing can be more effective than returning to your children's motherlands when it comes to strengthening their ethnic regards. If budget allows, more than one visit would be ideal. Accordingto Clinical Child Psychologist Dr. Rebecca Nelson, the first trip can be conducted when the child is four or five years old. The main purpose of the trip is to gain a basic idea of the birth country and its culture.
If your family only can plan for one visit,consider returning to the birth country while your child is between eight to ten years of age. "By this age, children have greater ability to think about themselves and others in a more dynamic and complex way, and tend to havea keen interest in understanding how they came to be adopted." as mentioned on Dr. Nelson's research article titled "Timing Birth CountryVisits". At this stage, your child still needs much of your guidance and support when dealing with the mixed emotions while the exploration is in progress.
Preferably do not wait until your childrenreached their teens to visit their birth countries, as they may feel morereluctant to explore new things and absorb knowledge of cultures that are foreign to them, because of their "immersion in their existing social world and an increased sense of self-consciousness," based on Dr. Nelson'sresearch. Ideally, multiple visits across thelifespan provide a wonderful way for a family to stay connected to a child's birth heritage. If more than one visit is doable, the first trip can be taken when the child is relatively young (4 or 5), assuming she was adopted approximately before the age of 2 and familial attachment is secure. Before theage of 6 or 7, a child is too young to have the capacity to understand the differences and similarities between biological and adoptive relationships. So, parents might want to think of this trip as providing a comfortable initial exploration of a birth culture. This birth culture will probably be ratherforeign to your child, despite it being her place of birth. Having this trip berewarding from a child's perspective is important. It will create a lasting impression and influence whether your child wants to return when she is older,when questions about adoption and her origins will surface. This early trip canbe made fun for a child by engaging in activities that celebrate her ethnic heritage and that are especially appealing for her. For instance if your childreally enjoys Chinese food, make this a point of emphasis through adventurousdining (e.g., trying a variety of eateries) and conversation. If your child likes Chinese dresses, a dress or two bought from places of meaning, such as aspecific region, to facilitate positive associations. Also, providing your child with her own camera will likely give her a sense of empowerment as she will gain a positive sense of control with tangible pictures of what appeals toher individually about her country of birth. Allowing your child to create herown photo album in addition to yours will provide further support of her individual experience and facilitate positive memories. Again, the goal of this early visit is to make it a rewarding and enjoyable experience that willprovide a foundation for future, more meaningful visits.
If only one birth country visit can be planned, the ages between 8 to 10 is most appropriate with the specific agedependent upon your child's emotional maturity. By this age, children have greater ability to thinking about themselves and others in a more dynamic andcomplex way, and tend to have a keen interest in understanding how they came to be adopted. Questions about birthfamily, country of origin, and other adoptionrelated matters are likely to make themselves apparent with greater frequency and degree of intensity than before. Children aged 8 to 10 are still dependent upon their parents to assist them in sorting out experiences, relationships andideas. This makes a birthcountry visit a prime opportunity to learn about themselves and further a positive adoptive identity within a guided andemotionally supportive context.
For children 8 to 10 plan similaractivities as already described, but also recognize your child will havethoughts and feelings about their adoption and birthcountry that may be dissimilar to yours. These differences can be sensitively addressed by actively involve your child in the planning phases and itinerary, such as places and people they would or would not want to see. Because this can be anemotion-filled trip for you and your child, make sure to plan some relaxingdown time.
Free time is a good way for everyone to reorganize and reenergize.Bringing one or two emotional comfort objects from home is also recommended. This might be a favored blanket or stuffed animal that your child can snuggle with when feeling tired or stressed.
Generally, pre/adolescents can be reluctantto visit their birthcountry due to immersion in their existing social world andan increased sense of self-consciousness.
Many transracial adoptees feelconspicuous in their families. Visiting a country where their families will stand out even more is not likely to be appealing during this stage of heightened self-consciousness. However, if a pre/adolescent shows interest invisiting her birth country, then it can be a rewarding experience if planned tofit the pre/adolescent's individual interests and temperament.
